How to be an amazing Single Mum…
I am a single mum… and I believe I am a goddamn amazing single mum to my one and only seven-year-old son! I came through a lot of ups and downs…rough patches, doubts, comments, fights, discussions, reading and writing to finally be able to say to myself that I do a good job as a mum…! The reason I decided to write this article? The other day a friend of mine who is going through a divorce called me. I could hear the despair in her voice when she was asking for the phone number of my lawyer and then the million-dollar question ‘How am I gonna make it?’
Well, I have news for you! Not only you will make it honey but I will show you how you can make it so you do not have to go through that path of doubting yourself (which is the worst thing you could ever do), listen to other people’s opinions and fall into depression big time!
So, your wedding, relationship, dream of having the house with the white fence and prince charming rubbing your feet did not work! And next to that you have a child or children that now you have to learn to support by yourself! Ok… let’s do this! You are a mum! You are capable of everything since you pushed out of you know where a new life or you were sliced with your heart beat dangerously falling so as that little angel would come out in this world safe!
Once, a very good female friend who happens to be in a very but very high ranked position in USA with two kids and a single mum told me ‘Do not wait for any man to create the world you wish to live in! Get to work and create it by yourself! And then you choose who you want to stand next to you and your kids!’ So, you want to be an amazing single mum? Start by following these:
- Let go of the past! What’s done it’s done! You cannot change it and by sitting at home crying will not make a difference! You will just make yourself sad and you will start eating and get fat! NO!
- Do not always listen to your mother (of father) about what people are going to say or how society faces single mums etc. You can take the advice of your parents but remember they lived in a different era from us! Just keep loving them and keep them close because grandparents are your savor when it comes to helping around with the kids.
- Work, work, work! Make sure you safeguard your job and no matter what or how many millions he has in the bank, never let go of your job! NO way! Your job defines you! You studied and earned that position with your own sword! So girls do not fall for the promises ‘I have money and I will take care of you, which usually equals to = I have the money thus I shall control you!’
- Love yourself unconditionally! When was the last time you told yourself ‘I love you’? Yeap, you cannot remember! Neither am I! But we need to love ourselves first so as to give all that love to the people around us that really matter.
- Exercise daily! Keep yourself and your mind healthy! By finding some ‘me time’ when the kids are at the football practice or at a ballet lesson, go to the gym or take a long walk by the sea listening to some of your favorite music. Trust me, it will make such a huge difference! Who said you cannot have those killer abs and body?
- Always have a schedule! My son wakes up every single day of the year and always has the same question ‘Mom, what are we going to do today?’ So, make sure you have a plan! It could be a play date, baking cookies, going to the movies, playing chess, riding your bikes…but make sure you have a plan and also a plan B if you need to. Kids get excited when you show them that you have actually prepared something in the day for them even if that is washing the car!
- Open your house to friends! Staying in with the kids sometimes is nice and more relaxing! So make sure you invite friends to come around. While you do the cooking the kids can play. No matter how your house looks, big or small, do not be embarrassed to show it. It is the warmth you build in it that makes a house to be a home! Trust me, your kid will be so thrilled to show his room and toys to his friends.
- Go out with friends! Yes, you are allowed to leave the kids with the grandparents and enjoy a nice evening out with your friends. Be careful though where you will go and the amount of alcohol that you will drink. It is very important to keep your dignity and set the example instead of getting wasted because you realized you wanted to party. You did party in uni!
- Be very careful on Social Media! People tend to post on social media photos of their children to show that they are having an amazing time! Especially single parents. It is like a battle of who did the most exciting activity! Well, step one! Block your ex from your social media and step two, stop posting photos of you and your child. There is no need for the whole world to know where about you are with a minor.
- Stop Worrying and Record Everything! Stop worrying when your child spends time with his dad. He is having fun and it is very important for their bonding. Make sure though that you record everything. Days, times in case you need them as evidence in court.
- Keep a Good Lawyer by your side! Someone who is eager to be by your side at all times. Someone who will not just over charge you for his or her services. Usually, the exes tend to start threats at some point. Well, your lawyer always knows how to put an ex back to his place. Remember! You are not alone! And follow all legal procedures with a smile! Do not argue!
- Educate yourself! Keep reading books or take an online course. You can do this, especially at night when the kids are sleeping! Reading self-improvement books will always pay back! You can even get ideas to create an extra source of income.
- Make your hobby a business! Single mums are always worried about money! Fact! Well, a lot of us have hobbies! If you knit for example, make it a small business and use social media to sell whatever you like knitting. It is so easy today to sell things online, so there you go! But having a second job is always handy since with that income you will be able to go to Disneyland as you promised.
- Remove toxic people from your life! Yes, as much as you may care for them, take them out! You know best that they are not good for you or your children. My dad always says ‘make sure you hang out with people that are better than you so they can inspire you, not with people who are worse than you so they can ‘steal’ from you!’
- Dress like a Kelly! I love Grace Kelly and everything she represents! Elegance and grace! Make sure that you are always well dressed, do your hair and makeup, pay attention to your nails and wear all these with a big smile on your face. Whatever it is that you are facing you must always think that ‘This one too shall pass’.
You are an amazing single mum already! I am just here to remind you this and to show you that you can achieve everything! Now go and give a big hug to yourself and your kid or kids as soon as they come back from school!
Last but not least! Make sure you are wearing the appropriate shoes when you are conquering the world!
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